The Best of Christmas Movies

The Best of Christmas on Film

By Noah Westerfield, the Film Ninja

Home Alone

OK, so to start with, I realize this might not make your top Christmas movies, but I am the one making this list, and I happen to be the same age as Macauley Culkin, so this movie hit a resonant chord in me when it was released, and I watch it every stinkin year.  First of all, Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern as the “Wet Bandits” are hilarious, and Culkin is at his best in this 1990 classic, and watching him lay the smack down on the two would-be house thieves is just plain fun.  Great cameo by the late John Candy as Gus Polinksi, leader of the Kinosha Kickers polka band.  This movie was number one at the box office for 16 straight weeks, well past the Christmas season, and was still in theaters come Easter.  Oh, and by the way, the score is done by John Williams, if you needed another reason to watch it again.
7.5 Ninja Stars.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation

This is one of the Christmas movies I find myself quoting every time we go to get our annual tree.  Our living room has a 20-foot high ceiling, so we get an enormous tree to fill that space with…so getting said monstrous tree inside and up is an annual task I look forward to as much as going for my Physical examinations after the age of 40.  “Really full…full of sap.” is uttered at least a dozen times as my hands stick to any available surface after getting that monster tree inside every year.  Sadly Beverly D’Angelo doesn’t get topless as she does in the original “Vacation”.  Chevy Chase does quip his way through sight gag after sight gag, Elaine from Seinfield is in it, and you should just go watch it right now.

7 Ninja Stars.

A Charlie Brown Christmas

So this isn’t really a movie.  It’s a half-hour TV show that sums up in that short time the true meaning of Christmas while at the same time poking a finger at how commercialized Christmas has become…and it was made back in 1965.  It was the first prime time animated special based on Charles Schulz “Peanuts” characters, and has been aired every year since it was made, yet since the first airing, nobody has seen the total show, since bits were cut out that mentioned the initial sponsor, coca-cola.  When Linus does his monologue from the King James Bible, and then all the kids realize they have treated poor Charlie Brown wrong, it makes this ninja all melty inside. 

8 Ninja Stars.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas

I am talking about the original animated version of the Dr. Seuss classic…not the horrid remake starring Jim Carrey, which will be discussed next week in my review of the “Worst Christmas Movies.”  The 1966 classic directed by Chuck Jones and narrated by the great Boris Karloff stands as another made for TV half hour classic that I can’t imagine getting to Christmas Day without having sat down to watch on TV.  I also enjoy it every time Thurl Ravenscroft’s voice comes on the radio to sing “You’re a Mean one Mr. Grinch.”  Dr. Seuss originally objected to Karloff doing the voice of the Grinch, because he thought he might make the surly character TOO scary.  Here’s how much I like this one.  One day when I have kids, I plan on reading them How the Grinch Stole Christmas every Christmas Eve before they go to bed.  And yes, my Grinch voice is the best Karloff impression I can muster with my tenor voice.

8.5 Ninja Stars.

Santa Claus Conquers the Martians

Do any internet search for “worst Christmas movies of all time” and Santa Claus Conquers the Martians will undoubtedly be in a place of prominence, and it is just as bad as it sounds. So how can it possibly make it onto my favorites list? Well, being that bad makes it perfect material for the good people at MST3K (Mystery Science Theater 3000) who do a thorough job of making this movie not only watchable, but funny.  If you have never watched an episode of MST3K…this is a good one to start with.  You can thank me later.

7 Ninja Stars.

Gremlins

Wait a dosh garn minute here you sneaky ninja! This is not a Christmas movie, but a campy horror movie set during Christmas time!  Well gentle reader, you have me there.  But it IS set at Christmas, and is filled with Christmas themes, songs, visuals and the like, so there’s just no getting around this movie being inextricably linked with Christmas.  I can’t hear the song “Do you hear what I hear” without picturing Billy’s mom, played by Francis Lee McCain, stalking upstairs holding a kitchen knife to find steaming cocoons empty and the gremlins vanished.  Creeps me out.  Here’s a quick trivia note for you: comedian Howie Mandel provided the voice for Gizmo.  It’s the same voice he used for his animated TV show “Bobby’s World.”  And he used the exact same voice when he did voice work on the “Muppet Babies” TV show as the character Skeeter.  One voice, three paychecks.  Why can’t I get that gig?
7 Ninja Stars.

The Nightmare before Christmas

I was initially hesitant about this 1993 gem, even though I have a deep respect for Tim Burton, and a passion for the works of Danny Elfman.  But this one sucked me in with its genuine curiosity, imagination, and visuals.  Burton came up with the fundimental fragments of this story in the 80’s when he was working for Disney, but knew the material was a bit too dark for mouse ears, and while it was made under the Disney umbrella, it was released under Touchstone Pictures due to its dark themes.  Catherine O’Hara (who also played the mom in Home Alone) supplied the voice of the love interest Sally, one of my favorite comedians Greg Proops performs several voices, and Chris Sarandon (best known as Prince Humperdink from “The Princess Bride”) performs the voice of Jack, while Danny Elfman also does vocal work, and is the singing voice for Jack.  If you’ve never watched this one, I implore you to give it a shot…you might be impressed.
8 Ninja Stars.

Astute readers will notice that while I adore two TV shows made in the 60’s, I have left off several more well known, more traditional, and older “Holiday classics” like Miracle on 34^th Street, A Christmas Story, or It’s a Wonderful Life.  What can I say; those movies just don’t speak to me.  Feel free to send me email disclaiming my opinions and calling me a whippersnapper.

Noah Westerfield is a part time ninja, a part time writer, and a full time whippersnapper.